Christmas Is Changing a Lot: In Business, There are 4 Disadvantages of Gift-Giving

 'Tis the season for gifting upward, downward, and across. There has been plenty of chatter about appropriateness (is it bad form for a junior member of the team to gift a principal or partner), expense, and timing. Also, what about the wording on the transmittal note? How can the line between warmth and intimacy not be crossed?

But this may be the last year for that particular type of conversation. So much about Christmas is being rethought. As posts on professional anonymous networks indicate, gifts are part of that reassessment. 

Remember that gifts are experienced differently than is a bonus. The gift is wrapped in emotion. The bonus means business. So, want to reward performance without attaching sentiment (usually unwanted by the recipient) or anything else, just provide a bonus. 

Gifts have these 4 disadvantages:

Adds on yet another layer of communications. 

Our society is already one of overcommunication. As the conversations on social scream, if there isn't an acknowledgement and preferably full of gush, the giver becomes upset, then possibly resentful. Yes, you have to respond when a gift is sent to you. 

So, instead of doing that sending, award a bonus. Or notify client of a discount applied to the latest invoice. How about good tickets to that sports game? That goes with the game of doing business. It's not a gift. 

Can be experienced as inappropriate/weird/or worse. 

When in doubt, leave it out. A person in leadership at law firm Paul Weiss had been there for me as I struggled with career change. I toyed with having a good bottle of wine delivered or a dream catcher sent from Mexico.

I backed off from that whole idea. I regret even investing time thinking about that. It would have been different if I could do that leader a favor such as arranging a contact with a media center. Favors are part of the business dynamic. In networking circles the process is referred to as making more deposits than withdrawals in the Favor Bank.

Imposes obligation. 

Gifts are never string-free. The assumption is that something is expected in return. Perhaps that's the assumption that there will be a gift back from the recipient. It could be the expectation of a favor in the future (which can be experienced as high-handed and manipulative). It could be a Hail-Mary pass to restore the relationship (the approach of which could be unwelcome at the time). 

Can be one of those one-more-things in a stressful time. 

With deadlines to meet before the closing of the books and family parachuting in, the holiday season can be difficult. I was annoyed when a colleague I had just begun dating gave me an expensive gift. That was one-more-thing I had to deal with. Sure, treating me to a nice lunch would have been different - and welcome. 

So, here we are: Among the myriad rituals associated with work we are in the midst of questioning the traditional practice of gift-giving at Christmas. If we toss it, Christmas 2023, if such an entity will continue to exist then, could be less filled with flashpoints.

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