Charm, as With Kamala Harris/Alex Murdaugh, Is So Out-of-Date - Maybe It Never Was Sustainable

 There's a wrong question on Reddit Big Law: How to be more charming? 

It's wrong because it is so out-of-date in this visual era when the "tells" of a self are totally out there. Instead, as we experience in the new kinds of sales approaches and the ethos of influencers, decoding the tells is about the search for authenticity. That opens relationships. That's what we seek out. In contrast, charm sucks up all the oxygen. 

Kamala Harris is faulted for charm w/o authenticity. Some contend it has been a persona shaped by her handlers. The chatter is that the all-important voter category - Black men - "see through it." A boomer white woman I can't connect with Harris. 

In addition, the rise and the fall of the Murdaugh Southern legal dynasty provide real-life evidence of the toxic nature of charm. The new book about that - "The Devil At His Elbow" by Valerie Bauerlein - chronicles how Alex Murdaugh glad-handed his way to everything from corrupt power to outright fraud in his law practice and much more.

When Bob Iger returned to the CEO job at Disney, his initial charm offensive fell flat. The media landscape had changed and he had to reset his personal branding as well as leadership/management decision-making.

In the Reddit Big Law post recommended is the classic by Dale Carnegie on human relations "How to Win Friends and Influence People." That's not about charm. It is about strategies to build a trusting connection with other human beings and sustaining it. Essentially it's other-directed. Before I launched a boutique in 1987, I enrolled in a Dale Carnegie introductory course. When things got dicey at the turn of the century, I tool a Dale Carnegie course focused on marketing and sales. 

Also in the Reddit Big Law post is cited Paul Weiss chair Brad Karp as an role model for charm. Charm, unfortunately, has become his signature. That's misleading. 

The Karp moving parts, I had experienced first-hand over a two-year period when I had been an influencer, are focused on investing energy in becoming involved with other human beings. 

Currently as an global inspirational speaker former top 10 lawyer John Tarantino creates that same pull force for his messaging. He doesn't charm. He exudes authenticity. 

Tarantino's Ted Talk "Redemption Stories" has had 23 million page views, so far. However, in the courtroom back in 2005 - 2006, I observed when blogging his landmark Rhode Island lead paint defense of client ARCO that same authenticity. The guy never defaulted into charm. Of the four defense teams he was the only one who got an acquittal, that first time around. When I interviewed jurors they cited that quality about Tarantino: ability to reach them with how he went about the case. 

In my current coaching practice I tutor clients to be in-the-now with other people, not in an agenda or in their heads - or in playing out a charm offensive. 

Life is hard. Business is even more difficult these days. Get answers – and relief. Jane Genova is a results-driven intuitive coach, tarot reader and content-creator related to careers. Complimentary consultation (please text/phone 203-468-8579 or email janegenova374@gmail.com)