Retirement: The Problem That Has No Name

 "Facing a blank schedule, and finding things to fill in those blanks, can be the toughest part of retirement" - The Wall Street Journal, October 1, 2024

With the oldest of the 76 million baby boomers now 78, that generation has gotten lots of experience at what has played out as a bored state of being: retiring. Although they are the wealthiest gen in America they are turning out to one that essentially has become lost.

The media story essentially is about those over-65 who have not retired, at least not 100%. So far about 19% continue in the work force, up from 11% in 1987. 

When in his early 60s Paul Weiss chair Brad Karp discussed possibly retiring from that law firm in a BusinessInsider interview, we rolled our eyes. It would be crazy to give up such a stimulating position at "such a young age." Of course, he didn't, voted back in for another term by the partners. 

At the Jones Day law firm Stephen Brogan managed to hang onto formal power until age 70. 

As we all know, Warren Buffett is still at it into his 90s. 

Betty White reset her brand in entertainment by continuing to work until she was nearly 100 years old. 

Meanwhile many of those who have retired had had second thoughts. I know that from my coaching. 

The trend is unretiring. Feeling aimless, socially isolated and worried about money those over-70 are contacting me about how to reset to be hired doing something, anything as paid labor. Interestingly they have gotten over the one-time shame of being spotted by a neighbor checking-out in a big box or ringing up sales in fast food. Damn it, it's work. They are making a buck. They have somewhere to go in the morning.

The rest who are not working for income, who can't afford a high-flyer lifestyle such as attending charity galas, doing international travel and buying luxury items, or who are without a cohesive social network are struggling. Their need is to find meaning in everyday life. 

Sure, being an attentive grandparent does enrich a life. But in talking with those caretakers I am picking up resentment. One woman who took early Social Security hardened when telling me that her son gave her a smartphone for taking care of the toddler three days a week. No, frequently that isn't a life. 

Essentially the over-65 who get up in the morning without purpose are stuck, at least right now.

In this small city of about 45,000 which attracts retirees because it is known as "affordable" and has moderate weather that daily existence can become compulsive ritual. It could consist of attendance in settings such as 12-step programs, Toastmasters, the public library's writer's group and the three gyms in town. They delight in telling funny stories which usually take too long to tell. 

About 100 miles away is the more affluent Oro Valley. When I visited those retirement communities wearing my blogger hat I sensed a gradual withdrawal from the big world out there. For example, residents tended to invite vistors to dine there versus all the restuarants beyond. I calculated: It could have been more cost-efficient to dine Mexican or Asian outside the complexes. They had cars. They could have gotten out. Their conversations tend to focus on what they had done in a career. A morning routine was going to Starbucks with the dog. 

Unlike those working, there is no thinking about or movement to tomorrow. The big-box check-out might have dreams to being promoted to an administrative or backroom position. That's a few bucks more and it's not being on their feet. Gossiping at work sure juices up the day.

Pessimists might label this situation as simply "living too long" with no precendents for how to develop purpose. No other gen has been through this. 

Of course, work isn't the answer. But it looks pretty good to those not working, doesn't it? When a 68-year-old in a Tucson, Arizona complex landed a full-time job at a call center, other residents seemed to be in-awe. 

The tragedy is that there are no answers, not yet. Meanwhile, the burden is on this gen to figure this out for themselves. Hell no. Don't wait for government or the think tanks. 

Here is the wrench in the works: Like loneliness or not having enough of a financial reserve, there is a stigma talking about it. After all, you are supposed to enjoy the luxury of living without the pressure of the work rat race. If you aren't, damn it, it's your fault. Didn't you prepare for post-career by developing hobbies? 

Boomers might recall the revolution set off by Betty Friedan's "Feminist Mystique." It uncovered the problem that has no name among young married women. They were unhappy. Yet, didn't they have a wonderful life in the suburbs. Second wave feminism was being born. 

Just as in those days in the late 1960s of consciousness raising about what kinds of assumptions females had about their lives, those over-65 can begin grappling with those issues in supportive groups. Just like in 12-step programs dating back to the 1930s. The exploration can be blunt: What the hell are these 10, 20, 30 years about? 

Full Disclosure: Like so many over-65, I share in the joke that I have retired - several times. And, am now back, again. 

Life is hard. Business is even more difficult these days. Get answers – and relief. Jane Genova is a results-driven intuitive coach, tarot reader and content-creator related to careers. Complimentary consultation (please text/phone 203-468-8579 or email janegenova374@gmail.com)