Status Repair: Avoid Defensive Moves (no one cares who you used to be)

With job and actual career loss becoming so standard, everything from identity to a sense of belonging goes kaput. The human tendency is to rush into modes of what is known as "status repair." Most are not only ineffective. They can also label you as stuck in the past, out of touch, even a nuisance. Therefore, not employable.

The leap into repair usually is defensive.

For example, there's an obsession in presenting who you used to be and how successful you were at all that. In the past. Often that narrative includes great detail. There was the crisis (boy was it in the news) that you and your team pulled all-nighters resolving. Obvious to listeners and to those who could hire you or guide you into another line of work is that you're defending yourself against the current professional nowhere abyss you're stuck in.

Another defensive move is gushing how much happier you are now that you're out of that toxic situation. The current reality is that a job, no matter how unpleasant or even health-eroding, is better than no source of income. Unless you landed something else, duck the temptation to put a rosy spin on your unemployment. Everyone knows that if joblessness goes on long enough homelessness could result. 

A third kind of going on the defense (and not in a positive way as with the Seahawks during the Super Bowl) is gushing how well your children are doing. Even when you're not. The message conveyed is not what you intended, which is that you know how to do things right and you did just that for your family. What that really signals is that you could become an emotional and financial burden to your family.

The effective way to repair the collapse of status? Shift to the now. Fiercely. That extends to everything.

Be smart about reducing expenses. 

Let everyone know you need work and grab whatever is available, even if low-paying. Work gets you work. Having work returns you to presenting yourself as work-ready and a hustler.

Nurture relationships beyond the usual contacts. In the 1970s, researcher Mark Granovetter released the shocking findings that the best jobs come through "weak ties," not your standard networks. The weak ties range from Joe the security guard in the supermarket to your neighbor whose wife is unusually well-connected. 

Refrain from ranting about politics and more. The Atlantic documents in our present overwhelm that is unwelcome, even in close friendships. Things are what they are. 

Consider investing money and hope in retraining for new kinds of ways to earn a living. That could be a short certification program. Or licensing to be a long-distance driver.

Take total care of yourself. Looking good sends positive signals about your ability to navigate setbacks. 

Listen. As human-relations genius Dale Carnegie hammered, that's the way to win friends and influence people. That will enhance the number and quality of contacts. People get us work, not resumes.

In coaching I observe this: As hard as it is to live in the now those who do are able to have access to sources of income. That's what counts. Those living in the past tend to run out of money. Help isn't on the way.

Success is a mental game. Failure comes from being done in by the “committee” in your head.

Together, we liberate your thinking. Then we change your story. And, unleash success. Meanwhile, we focus on bringing in income. That puts you in a position of strength.

Intuitive Coaching. Special expertise with transitions, becoming a solopreneur and aging. Psychic/tarot readings, upon request. Complimentary consultation with Jane Genova (Text 203-468-8579, janegenova374@gmail.com). Yes, test out the chemistry. Zero risk.

Don’t give up before the miracle.