Trying Too Hard, Coming Across as People Pleaser - More Employers Demand Confidence and Peek into Your Real Self

This is a problem which is resonating in job search: the peril of presenting yourself in interviews as trying too hard, therefore not exhibiting confidence and lacking authenticity by coming across as a people-pleaser.

HR at one employer made this issue explicit in unsolicited feedback to a rejected applicant. This is posted on Reddit. So far it's triggered 7.1k comments and 27k upvotes. 

The guidance should be taken seriously. Working, even in entry-level positions, requires the ability to make myriad decisions. That can't be done effectively if there is a lack of confidence. In addition, employers have to have a handle on who is the person they're hiring. It's necessary to allow them in for a peek. No, they're not interested in learning about the whole you. Just enough to reduce the risk in the hiring process. It takes about 18 months of training to make a hiring pay off. That's a major investment in these cost-efficient times.

Even very top-down organizations like elite law firms mandate confidence and transparency. For example, those I coach have told me that they were dinged in their annual performance reviews for not showcasing confidence as well as not differentiating themselves from other junior members. Senor associates/partners will not pass along assignments to those they "don't trust" can get the work done well and quickly. That could mean being terminated because not enough hours were billed.

The tough marching order in a job search is to not attempt to "give them what they want." Instead, demonstrate what you can do for them that is better, faster and more cost-effective than other applicants. One real estate developer I coached finally landed a new job when he approached the interview very directly with: This is what I can do for you.

Lost your confidence because of being out of work for an extended period? Get it back by working. Grab a job any job or a gig, any gig that provides income. Immediately you will feel better about yourself. And the old adage is on the money: Nothing gets you work like having work.

After 9/11 my industry collapsed. With it the business for my boutique went poof. I lost my nest egg and nearly my mind. A cognitive therapist mandated I grab work, any kind. That was being a security guard in a big box. Within about 16 months I had launched another kind of enterprise. Yes, I was back.

Success is a mental game. Failure comes from being done in by the “committee” in your head.

Together, we liberate your thinking. Then we change your story. And, unleash success. Meanwhile, we focus on bringing in income. That puts you in a position of strength.

Intuitive Coaching. Special expertise with transitions, becoming a solopreneur and aging. Psychic/tarot readings, upon request. Complimentary consultation with Jane Genova (Text 203-468-8579, janegenova374@gmail.com). Yes, test out the chemistry. Zero risk.

Don’t give up before the miracle. 

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