Dreaded in Inflationary, Job-Insecure Times: Being Invited to a Wedding (but what about networking implications)

Sure, trend watchers know. Marriage is so 20th century. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married. According to Knot, that numbers about 2 million. But here is the reality that bites us, especially in the pocketbook. Of those who marry, over 80% will have a wedding.

For those of us who are financially challenged or fear that in the near future (layoff) an invitation to that wedding could be unwelcome. So much so that The Wall Street Journal covers the new etiquette of declining to participate. 

Believe it or not, if you're feeling this way, you have lots of company. Research from the Bank of America Institute found that almost 60% of those receiving an invitation would decline because of their budgets. If the event happens out-of-town there's even more financial incentive to say "no." In addition to purchasing an outfit and ponying up a gift (cash is preferred) there are the expenses of transportation, lodging and meals away from home. 

Manners experts recommend that the decline be done in-person. If possible. Or some other very personal way. Be gentle with the couples' feelings. But real about your financial issues. I would add that you provide an alternate way of honoring the bonding. For example, indicate you're planning a dinner party or intimate dinner especially for them. 

But as a coach, I also factor into the decision to not participate the networking implications. Weddings, along with funerals, are classic venues to cement business relationships and create new ones. Be aware also that not being there could signal a loss of status or power. It's widely known that not-inviting people to weddings is a tool to publicly shame. 

A Boomer, after I was in my 30s I took a proactive stance on the possibility of wedding invitations. I had done my share of being part of the wedding party or traveling across the country for the reception. My signature became that I avoided large gatherings. But my charm offensive was being known for conjuring up exotic Italian cuisine. Yes, I would make it even more special when the married couple came over, post-wedding.

Careers. Forget all that. It’s about earning a good living, no matter what.

Complimentary consultation with Jane Genova, StreetSmart Coaching (janegenova374@gmail.com)


If the decision is not to atten

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