There Was a Time When Troubles Talk Brought Us Closer ...

 This is supposedly the anti-social century.  We not only bowl alone. One-fourth of us eat alone.

Well, most or if not all the hysteria about retreating into isolated bunkers misses this: Essentially we remain social animals. Just not as social. The social circles are smaller and who we let in are carefully screened. 

In a simpler time when employment was stable, we only lived several years after retirement and offspring didn't hang on, what we called "troubles talk" served to deepen bonds. When the neighbor confided her husband was drinking too much welcome was this confiding. We were trusted. Obviously, we had another close friend. You can't have too many of that.

In the century of financial uncertainty with homelessness possible and the kids a-failure-to-launch troubles talk isn't as welcome. 

Notice that more of us in casual encounters say, "Good to see you," not "How are you." Overwhelmed, we don't want to hear it. The exception may be the "adult," that is those who have learned to cope, we orbit with. 

In most other situations, the typical exit line if someone misses the cue to not open up is "You might talk to a therapist." Then, the glaze-over. Even in peer support groups known for fellowship it's likely to be blown off with, "Talk to your sponsor about that."

And as for eating alone, that's more cost-efficient than dining out with a group. Some of us even have the social self-confidence to indicate, "I don't do lunch but let's have coffee." We still enjoy the company but not the ritual that has become more and more expensive,

In coaching I guide how to maintain needed work relationships without encouraging over-sharing. Even in more gregarious times, we called that the "office pest."

Careers. Forget all that. It’s about earning a good living, no matter what.

Complimentary consultation with Jane Genova, StreetSmart Coaching (janegenova374@gmail.com)